What is a Share burial?

The Share burial is a common burial of infants who have died due to loss of pregnancy, stillbirth, or early infant death.  One or two small white caskets are buried holding all infants being buried at that time.  Because of this common burial, disinterment is not possible.  You may choose to have a small toy or blanket buried with your infant.  Mementos may be left at the graveside but are cleared periodically for cemetery caretaking.

The burial includes a graveside service which is lead by a variety of local clergy who willingly give of their time to provide this service.

There is no cost to you for a Share burial.

If you choose to have a private burial, this can be arranged inexpensively by local funeral homes.

Where is the Share burial?

The burials are at the St. Joseph's New Catholic Cemetery on Charles Road in Lancaster (near the Manor Shopping Center).

When are the burials held?

Burials are held the second Tuesday of January, March, May, July, September, and November.  The graveside service starts at 2:30 pm on those days.  These services are lead by a variety of local clergy who willingly give of their time to provide the service.

How do I arrange for a Share burial?

If you decide while in the hospital, simply inform your nurse or doctor of your decision and they will make the arrangements.

If you decide after you are home, you may call your healthcare provider or contact Chip Snyder at The Charles F. Snyder Funeral Home.  Their telephone number is 717-393-9661.  You may contact them up to two weeks following your loss.

Where will my baby be until the burial?

Your baby will be held at the hospital where you delivered until close to the burial date when he/she is picked up for burial.

Due to the nature of a common burial, please keep in mind the following pertaining to a Share burial:

• A private viewing of your infant is not possible at the funeral home

• Photos can not be taken by or at the funeral home

• All infants share one casket for burial

• Burial sites are marked by number and not by individual infant names.  However, a record of individual infant names is kept by Snyder's Funeral Home and St. Joseph's Cemetery.

What if I miscarry at home?

Contact the Charles F. Snyder Funeral Home at (717) 393-9661 and they will help you arrange for a Share burial.

You should contact your doctor for any medical issues or concerns.

How do I cope?

Miscarriage and still birth bring a special sadness to parents. Grieving for a baby lost through miscarriage or still birth is natural and sometimes the grief is misunderstood by others. If a baby is lost early in pregnancy, some people may think it doesn’t hurt to lose a baby you haven’t seen or known. Losing a pregnancy brings many emotions for mothers, fathers and other family members. It is important to know that each person may experience different feelings, to different degrees, at different times and that others care about your loss. The love and support of family and friends are very important.
You may find the following resources to be of help as you work through the emotions you are experiencing:

• Hospice of Lancaster County’s PATHways Center for Grief and Loss Resource Library welcomes public visitation. Please call (717) 391-2413 for more information.

• The Internet has numerous web sites dealing with loss. Some titles to search are pregnancy loss, miscarriage, or stillbirth. The Share Website address is: www.ShareOfLancaster.com

• Your own clergy or the hospital chaplain may be of help to you.

• Seminars will at times deal with pregnancy loss. These usually are announced in local newspapers.

• If you have medical questions, your physician or clinical nurse specialist may be of help.

• The Share 24-hr answering service has information on a support group and can provide an initial contact with a grief counselor.

• Private Counseling.

Due to the nature of a common burial, please keep in mind the following pertaining to a Share burial:

• A private viewing of your infant is not possible at the funeral home.

• Photos cannot be taken by or at the funeral home.

• All infants share one or two caskets for burial.

• Burial sites are marked by number and not by individual infant names. However, a record of individual infant names is kept by the Charles F. Snyder Funeral Home and St. Joseph's Cemetery.

 

Share Burial Plot Policies & Procedures
September 12, 2009

In response to a wide range of feedback received following our memo on August 20 regarding the Share Burial Plot, the Share Board of Directors is issuing this Policies & Procedures statement.  This document announces important changes requested by some families and further clarifies Share's perspectives as the board responds to the varied views and preferences among the many people we serve.  The specific concerns relate to the cleanliness of the burial plot and the handling of items placed by family members, which we heartily welcome.  The changes have been made in order to be as responsive as possible to the diverse desires of parents and family while honoring the requirements of the cemetery, which provides and maintains the site free of charge.  Many of us on the Share Board have experienced losses, and we are all deeply committed to the support of grieving individuals and families through the variety of our services and resources.

Share is a non-profit community organization dedicated to bringing comfort, understanding, hope, and healing to families who have suffered the loss of a baby through miscarriage, a pregnancy complication, prematurity, stillbirth, infant death up to one year, or SIDS.  Those we serve are our top priority, yet we do work with others as well on their behalf, including hospitals, doctors, cemeteries, funeral directors, clergy, and other agencies; they each have their own guidelines that we must respect.

 

Points already noted in the Share Burial brochure prior to recent discussions:

·      Share Burials, unlike private ones, provide communal graves for a large number of babies, with each casket holding many babies and each numbered site representing dozens of families.

·      “Flowers and mementos may be left at the gravesite but are cleared periodically for cemetery caretaking.”  (This is true for all the cemetery graves, including private ones, and for most cemeteries.)

 

General Information:

·      Share Burials are offered in love and without cost by Share of Lancaster, Inc., and the Charles F. Snyder Funeral Home.

·      St. Joseph’s New Catholic Cemetery has donated the ground and provides all maintenance as a free service of concern and compassion.  The care of the Share Burial Plot is unlike the other cemetery graves because of its distinct characteristics and in light of the group burials, which occur six times each year.

·      Many families value remembering their loved ones with flowers or mementos, while many others prefer the simplicity of neat and clean gravesites.  The following cemetery practices are intended to address and respect the differing desires of both groups.  All must, of course, have consideration for the preferences of others as well as their own with respect to these communal graves.

·      Share provides its programs and services to all of those we support in a considerate and compassionate manner, with the Board of Directors governing all operations.  While we are not a “representative” body elected by those we serve, we aim to be sensitive to all needs and desires as we lead this outreach organization.

·      The existing Share Burial brochure will be updated to reflect the specifics of the cleanup procedure and schedule at the cemetery so new families are fully aware of this information.

 

New cemetery practices designed to honor the dignity of this sacred space, enable meaningful family bereavement, and provide a workable plan for timely and efficient maintenance of the burial site:

·      The plot is being maintained with a uniform mulch ground covering, proper drainage around the perimeter, and a cleanup occurring six times annually the first week of each Share burial month: January, March, May, July, September, and November.  With this schedule, the cleanups occur just before the new burials, which are held on the second Tuesdays.

·      All items must be removed bimonthly to keep the neatness and appearance of the site fitting for its consecrated purpose and because this is required for a cleanup process that is in keeping with the standards of the cemetery.

·      When removed, mementos, trinkets, statues, nameplates, or other more permanent items will be carefully placed in a covered, plastic box near the site so family members can claim or relocate their items to their Share gravesites until the next cleanup.  People living a great distance away are invited to find a local person to do this task.  Items should be relocated to gravesites only by those who first placed them or by others whom they request to do so on their behalf.

·      Flowers, weather-worn plush items, and other disposable objects will be discarded.

·      Following a reasonable time in the box near the site and at the caretaker’s discretion, durable items may be moved to a maintenance building on the cemetery grounds and can be retrieved from a cemetery employee.  Contact Share if you need assistance.

·      A sign noting the schedule for cleanup will be posted at the Share Burial Plot, and this information will be noted on the Share website.

 

Adopted September 12, 2009

Share Board of Directors 

Share Hotline:  717-823-2789 - Website:  www.ShareOfLancaster.com